Bad blogger! Bad!

I said I'd post something on Saturday and somehow it's Tuesday and where the hell did the time go? Obviously I'm not doing too hot on the whole "keeping promises" thing.

It's been a tough... counts on fingers... four days. Not in any Major Drama or Real World Consequences kind of way, the little one is just teething. I've learned that this sucks up 100% of my time, since I have to be standing upright and bouncing to soothe her.

Anyway, since you all are awesome and still reading my shit, here's a picture of the babe:

Swimming in a sea of elephants

OH MY GOD, HOW DID I SQUEEZE OUT SUCH CUTENESS?

Apologies for Friday

Sorry about not posting yesterday. The little one is getting tooth number two in and she was miserable. I'll try to get something up by tonight.

It's no use

There's been another mass shooting, this time in New York. Dude sets fire to his apartment, shoots up a barber shop, shoots up a Jiffy Lube, has an 18 hour standoff with police/FBI, shoots a police dog, and finally the cops kill him (duh).

I would say something pithy about how this entire shitshow only happened because Myers had access to guns. But you know what? The fucking gun nuts won't listen. They won't listen and people die.

Fuck it and fuck them.

(Syracuse.com)

Anti-pope

A new pope has been selected. I guess Catholics can sleep easy tonight knowing that they've replaced a former Nazi with a former supporter of the junta in Argentina.

Unless, of course, they believe that Pope Francis I has no claim to the "throne of Saint Peter" (since Ratzinger is still alive and wouldn't step down to Cardinal), making him an anti-pope. Come on, schism!

Costco, HuffPo, it's like a terrible Dr Seuss rhyme

God, I hate HuffPo. In an article about Costco's profits:

Less than a week after Costco CEO Craig Jelinek spoke out in favor of raising the minimum wage, the big-box retailer’s earnings showed that paying workers a living wage doesn’t always hurt business.

For fuck's sake. A living wage does not hurt business. In fact, it ultimately benefits the economy to have a large pool of citizens with disposable incomes. Here's Audley's patented E-Z Krash Kourse in Economics:

In order to sell your shit, people need to have money to spend. If they can't afford to pay rent on their shitty, minimum wage salary, they ain't gonna buy your shit.

Some analysts have complained in the past that Costco’s worker-friendly policies aren’t so friendly to shareholders. If Tuesday’s results are any indication, those concerns may be exaggerated.

Here is a picture of the smallest violin, playing the saddest song just for the poor, under appreciated shareholders → ·

The link included in the quote leads to a New York Time Business article featuring one of those complaining analysts:

Costco's average pay, for example, is $17 an hour, 42 percent higher than its fiercest rival, Sam's Club. And Costco's health plan makes those at many other retailers look Scroogish. One analyst, Bill Dreher of Deutsche Bank, complained last year that at Costco "it's better to be an employee or a customer than a shareholder." 

What the ever-lovin' hell? I understand fucking over employees-- it the way Americans do business-- but to complain that your customers are being treated too well is incredible. How in the hell do you expect the company to turn a profit unless customers are satisfied, dumbass?

Gah. Trust HuffPo to take a topic that should be good news and turn it into, well, a Huffington Post article.

Ladies! Have I got a tablet for you!

Ladies! Is your Galaxy Tab just too masculine? Is your plain ol' iPad not fierce enough for you? Does your Surface leave your fuzzy pink lady brains in a tizzy?

Well, have I got a tablet for you!

The ePad Femme was designed for the on-the-go, cosmo swilling, shoe shopping stereotype! You see, it comes preloaded with a ton of useful apps for today's modern woman: recipes! Shopping! Yoga! Clothing! Don't worry your pretty little head about downloading anything else, Eurostar (the makers of ePad Femme) have already figured you all out!

Hell, I might even get rid of my clunky old laptop and my smartphone in favor of an ePad Femme. They are both so drab and black. Ew! Not like the ePad* Femme which is (reported to be) a pleasant shade of pink. And I just don't know how I've managed to handle using two different operating systems (Android Jellybean and Windows 8), since I'm obviously not smart enough to figure out either one. I sure am glad that someone has come along to remind me that I'm not supposed to be able to use common gadgets; I obviously need the dumbed down version because I am of the weaker sex.

Eurostar can SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY! now.

*I can't say that enough. ePad, ePad, ePad, ePad, ePad, ePad, ePad, ePad, ePad, ePad! It sounds like a brand of robot maxi-pads.

(Ars Technica)

"Citadel"

While reading another article on Ars Technica*, I came across: Mass Effect 3 "Citadel" DLC is 4GB of gooey, cheesy fan service.

Ho
Lee
Shit.

(Possible minor spoilers after the jump.)